The “A-B-C’s” to Disaster in the Church Nursery

A lways show up late.
B e a grump.
C omplain to the parents about how horrible their child was.
D on’t put anything back where it belongs.
E xplode whenever you are mistreated!
F rown!
G et hysterical over everything!
H ave food crumbs and trash scattered on the floor.
I f you forget to change a baby’s diaper, it’s okay.
J ust do the least you can, it doesn’t really matter that you haven’t given your best.
K ill time by letting the children take off all their shoes and socks.
L et the babies’ noses run!
M ake the biggest messes possible!
N ever look pretty or appropriate when you have to work the nursery.
O rganization? What’s that?
P ut your nursery duty at the bottom of your list of important responsibilities.
Q uickly leave when the service is over; don’t help with the cleanup!
R arely check to see if the babies’ faces and hands are clean.
S it in the chair and talk with the other nursery workers; the kids can take care of themselves! Gossip! Gossip! Gossip!
T alk to the parents without looking them in the eye. Pretend they’re not even there.
U se the same bed for several different babies without changing the sheets.
V acuum the carpet only IF you are asked to do so, but do not care enough to do it without being asked.
W ear your oldest and worst-looking clothes and don’t do your hair.
X -pect the next workers to clean up after you.
Y ell at the children to show them who is boss!
Z ip in and out of the nursery.  Don’t take any personal interest in it!  Don’t be early!